These three days.

i gave myself a shock this morning when i saw myself in the mirror. My eyes were swollen like i had a whole roomful of bees stinging me. I got a big fat scare of my life. I've been crying for the past three days. Enough i say, theres no more tears left for me to waste. The body's dehydrated and i need to refill myself.

Sent Joel off at the airport yesterday. I cried like my dog died or something. My eyeliner was all smudged and i looked HORRIBLE. I look like i was nuts please. So i redid my liner and left for tamp. Its there that i met Dwayne. Didnt know he was coming down. So we talked about alot of rubbish, tattoos and all. Hung out at the Pavilion till i got his msg. So i went home. Talked and i fainted after that. No blood in my head. I woke up and called Sheila. But i didnt tell her that i fainted. Then called Xx and then after that i took the whole btl of Chivas and finished the whole thing, neat.

I woke up and i didnt feel like going to school. So i stayed at home. I went online and kena gan by Neh. She was worried for me. Then he started talking to me, saying he's worried and all. I started crying again. I cried till there wasnt anymore tears left. He pleaded with me to stop drinking. But its the only way at that time. The only thing i could do.

I went offline after the whole convo and went to cwp to meet Sheila. So i'm home now.

Trying not to think about the whole thing, but i just cant. Downed the whole bottle of Chivas, neat at one go at that time. The kick was nothing compared to what i was feeling. But ah, what the heck. It helps to numb the pain for awhile. But i owe him that much, i'm gonna stop drinking.

i'm still waiting for that rainbow to come my way. if only it'll come sooner.