Friday, September 07, 2012

Lovelorn or lost.

Lets see.

Life has been busy as of late because i'm doing my degree now. A double major with Murdoch Uni.

First sem has never been this interesting as someone who i thought was my friend, turned out to be a back-stabbing whore. Oh please, as if you can beat me at being the Queen B.

So got to know other friends taking the same degree and TAH-DAH! Instant friendship formed.

Went on a couple of trips with them two, Phuket, JB, Sydney.

I'm happy to say that probably them both are the kind of friends i need in my life. With a lot of encouragement for one another to do assignments and such. Finally, friends that i can rely on.

And then come the happy fella, who only thinks of themselves and not others. YOU are the one that wants a favor, so YOU jolly well wait for it.
Needless to say, no longer friends with such selfish people but it is fine.

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Perhaps it the closeness that i have with you that has stirred emotions in my stone cold heart.

The exhilaration and enlightenment came as i watched you dance, the high emotion that i felt on the spot, has been elusive for a long long time.

You have no idea the amount of exhilaration you invoked in me, yet i do not know for sure what i really feel. Has anyone ever been sure of their feelings when it comes to situation like this anyway?!

I don't want to create a fuss like the past, where i came out and things escalated quickly into the tomb of oblivion. Then it just sours everything.

I like her for what she is, the things that she does and how she is. But it can also be because i am semi-blinded by the sudden happenings to me so i cannot be certain really.

The info that she is fucked up and insensitive when in a relationship may be true, but i think i can overlook that, because it is no longer about me and its about giving rather than receiving. This may turn around and smack me back in the face, but lets just hope that it doesn't aye.

I think it is best to leave things as it is, and let things be until there is some form of reciprocation.

Its not something that can be forced anyway,