New offer.

I dun think i'm going to wait for the PR offer anymore.

I dun even know why i bothered to wait in the first place. I am sucha naive bitch sometimes. I should have just bulid up my database then go into PR, it wouldnt be too late also. Sometimes, i think i'm waay past my own age.

Oh well, i think too much, bottom line.

I got an offer today. How it happened was quite interesting. I was walking back from break with Brant and Faz when i see this guy beckoning me over to his side, i thought he was signalling to Brant, so i looked away. Then i looked up again, he was pointing at me, calling me over.

What he said and what i answered is private. But he did offer me a position to lead his team. I dun have a problem with taking up his offer, but then again, i know nuts of the details also. So i think i have to find out before i make my decision.

Rah. Why is life so difficult to comprehend nowadays?

Happy Birthday Mel.

Dear Mel,

I dun know if you'll ever read this, but i'm still gonna write it anyway. Its your second birthday since i've met you and we still havent done a celebration together. We both had alot of secrets with one another, with the one sided feelings i had for you that was never reciprocated and whatnot. Its okay, because i got over it a long time ago.

I still miss your smell to this day. The scent of CK Be whenever i'm out with you, or going for a spin in your dad's car. I cannot remember where we've been out together for a spin, but trying to recall gives me a warm feeling, as if my subconscious doesnt want to show me the memories but is assuring me that it was a meaningful one.

Although its a sad smile that appears, its still a smile nevertheless.

You ever told me that you'll dote on me the most, but that seems a tad bit difficult now, because i dun even know your location in the world. I've always loved the way you touched my hair, the way you entertained me and called me a bimbo because my general knowledge seems to melt away whenever i'm with you. You made me feel more loved than what i ever experienced in my whole lifetime. I was only eighteen then, young and reckless.

We both used to smoke like there was no tomorrow. Viceroy Menthol Lights Super was the only thing we both smoked. I dun know if you still smoke, but i've decided to quit because the men i've met after you all dun smoke at all.

Remember the time i went to Bangkok with my mother? I came back with a huge bag of stuff for you. You and the others ganged up and lied that you couldnt come and welcome me back. I was sad when i heard it, but i found out the loophole all the same. I missed your smell at that time, but i got to inhale a lungful when i gave you a big hug.

How about the time when the whole lot of us went to Cafe Cartel at Cine and ate a whole lot of bread? Subsequently, we went to the branch at PS and you took the whole loaf and put it on our table. And how about i would always whine and insist on you helping me to butter my slice of bread?

I thought of putting up photos, but i dun think that would be a very good idea. =)

And the time the group decided to go for steamboat at Marina, and you kept adding things to my plate, making sure i ate all the best there was. You knew i was afraid of prawns, so you kept them well away from me. You knew i was a picky eater, so you got stuff that you knew i'll eat, so that i didnt have to eat crabsticks at all. The amount of green tea the both of us drank, was all paid by you. You knew my every need and fears. You were my everything.

Now comes the sad part. I know you're still hung up over Kelly even though its been nearly a year. I never blamed you for choosing her over me, but still, i wished you had been more straightforward in telling me, rather then letting me find out for myself. You know i'm lucky and smart, there was no way i couldnt have found out. You broke my heart into a million pieces, but it made me a much stronger person in character when i learnt how to pick myself up.

Its been so long but i feel that we both are still awkward whenever we have a conversation, which is to say, scarce and really once in a blue moon. I wish the friendship between us didnt have to be like this, i wish that i can tell you this face to face now. But i dun think i can, because you have kept to yourself since Sept 3 2006. I only seen you once after that date, where i sat in stone cold silence whilst you finished your hotdog at Lucky Plaza. Everyone stared at me, glancing away whenever i caught their eye. Because they knew about you and Kelly's break up, and nobody wanted to be the one to tell me face to face.

I admit i cursed your relationship in anger, but i forgot all about it till i heard the news. I'm sorry for being such a possessive bitch, but i was only eighteen at that time.

I still cherish our friendship no matter what. I havent forgotten how much of a friend you were to me. Plus if you're worried that i'll have feelings again, that is super unlikely, because i've moved on already, and i wont go back to the same situation i was in ever again.

The one i call my older brother is still here in my heart. But still, i will never know if you'll read this. Maybe someday, we see each other again, when i'm happily married with kids. In fact, i'll name one of my boys after you. =) And you can be his godfather. That is if you want to.

I'll still be around. If fate decides it, we'll meet again.

P.S Happy 27th Mel.

Loves, Fiona.

National Day week.

Its been one hell of a week.

The crazy eve of National Day which was on Wednesday. There wasnt really much of a slam, but i sold too many Moet Roses (roh-say). It was quite fun the whole time, taking photos and more photos. I think the photographer got scared of us. All of us took many many photos each, but not all got a copy of every one. I think i was the only one that got a copy of all the photos. HAHA.

It got boring after 1am so Brant and i amused ourselves with balloons. How? By inhaling the helium inside the balloon lah! Your voice will change, the off for some fun! I inhaled a whole balloon, and i went to Effen and asked him if he wanted to get it on with me tonight. He laugh until, i also started laughing.

Then i entertained Louie and Mandy with my helium voice, and Louie laughed like no tomorrow.
I started singing in my heilum-ed voice and it was fucking hilarious.

At times like these, anything is fun. =)

Feelings

Have you ever felt lost in any one part of your life?

When you feel as if you cannot find a reason to your feelings?

As if you lost that special part of you, that was meant to last an eternity?

Some time back, i started working in nightlife again. I got together with this bartender, Z, who at that point of time, was already married. I knew that he was married from the start, but i chose to take the risk.

We were supposed to go to Bali for a holiday, on the 6th of May. I paid for the tickets upfront. But we broke up on the 3rd. For what reason, i didnt even know at that point of time. I was on leave then, for the supposed holiday. I spent five days, awake and numb, walking around singapore, not knowing where was my actual destination. I didnt even know why i broke up with Z. All i felt was anger, because i didnt know what was going on. Apparently, he was trying to keep his wife from being suspicious.

I only know of the reason today.

He said to break up with me was pain in the first place. I felt the pain also, in a very bad way.


Yes, i said i moved on with someone else.

But i lied to make you feel my side of the pain.

But ultimately, i will never go back. Only because going back would never make a heart whole again.

Long lost

Its been some time since i blogged here.

I stopped blogging her for awhile because i was having a hard time with people-who-decide-to-be-sensitive-after-reading-my-blog. Which was quite annoying really. I've been at Multiply for awhile already. So i'll be blogging there more often than here.

retrospectivesoul.multiply

Loves!

I refuse.

I solemnly swear that i will never touch vodka again, esp Smirtoff.

I refuse to touch vodka and sambucca ever again.

I vow to stay by Macallan, Chivas, BL and never to waver from them. Famous Grouse is not counted, because i dun lke Famous Grouse.

Z had to send me home. I didnt even know what the fuck i was doing half the time. But i swear i couldnt throw up for nuts. But i do know my my puke felt lumpy, like it had apples in it. It must be the Smirtoff Green Apple.

I wont be blogging here anymore. Except for some special occasion. I'll be somewhere else. Not even livejournal. So yeah, loves to all. =)

Random entry.

Life is still mundane.



I got more piercings. Re-pierced my right monroe and got the left one done. Initially i wanted my cheeks done, but VO doesnt have studs that are long enough!


I know my hair is abit Chao Ah Lian-ish. But its going for another change soon! Preferably red, cos Lauda aka Alan says red suits me. Fiery character, says my friend.



I hate to fall sick, because i dun like to stay at home. Momma just trot on a cockroach. How ick is that.


Which reminds me of that day when i went out for lunch with her. I had soft shell crab curry and i was about to take a bite when i realised that there was a eye looking at me from my spoon. My reaction was immediate drop spoon and run away. Now even when i think about it, its still gross. Best of all, upon closer inspection, it looked like a cockroach.


ICK.


DOUBLE ICK.


GROSS GROSS GROSS.


I was disgusted to the core please! Enough about cockroaches, i shouldnt be blogging about them anyway.


I did an event on Live to Dream some days back. It was a morning event, i was like the only one that was early/on time. It was quite a relaxed event, like all morning ones. Basically needed to make sure they had drinks and all.






The lot of us that did the event. Nice photo! I like!



Loner! HAHAH.

To William.

Dear W,

I'm writing this here because i dun know how to tell it to you personally anymore. I havent been myself ever since you promoted me. I dun know why i'm unhappy nor do i understand how i'm feeling anymore. You dun have to apologise for not being able to help, because i never expected you to. Things are not going very well at the moment because of some issues.

Perhaps i've been affected since Specs left and since Mez went on MC.

I dun know. I transferred together with them, i expected them to be with me, in the same team. But obviously circumstances made situations different. But for almost two months, i felt alone. Trying to train new colleagues and then most of them leave just like that, you dun know how fucked up that is, for me to spend time and effort teaching them what i know and for them to take that knowledge and mia-ing. Its like i'm the hand that claps with air instead of another hand, you know?

I tried holding it all in, i really did. This blog was the only place i could talk about how i feel, but you guys tainted it with your comments and disapproval. So now, i can no longer blog about my day without having to worry about what you guys will say. I tried being the person you all want me to be. But i'm sorry, for not being the all perfect senior that i'm expected to be.

From the time i saw that disappointment in your eyes, i was afraid of making mistakes because i didnt want to disappoint you. But ultimately, i ended up making even more mistakes. I told you i wanted to resign, but the look you gave me showed that immediate disappointment in me. You asked if i had a better offer, i said no. Then you asked if i was not happy, i hesitated before telling you no. The reason why i choose to resign is because i dun want to disappoint you anymore.

I didnt want to bother you with my problems, because you were so busy with three outlets. I watched you walking in and out, to and fro forever on your comms set or phone. I felt that my problems were minior compared to the three outlets that you had to handle. Thus, i chose not to tell you.

But there were a couple of times that i did stop you to tell you that i needed to talk to you. You always said we'll talk later, but your later never came. I waited because i understood that you were busy. But still, nothing.

Perhaps the way i execute operations is different from others, but if it seems like i vent my frustrations/ anger on the rest of the team, then i'm sorry for it. But like i said, i've stopped fighting for captain a long time ago. I think its because of the second warning letter that i was given. True, its my fault that i overslept, but it isnt my fault that the roster showed me 10pm and i get fucked because i was "supposed" to work at 8pm instead. I dun see Mez getting a warning letter because he mis-read his roster on the Barclays event day. Then again, i dun really give a damn whether he gets a warning letter or not, its not my problem.

I dun have any right to talk anymore. Everytime i say something, its mostly wrong and never correct. I'm tired of arguing my point, or even fighting for anything anymore. I've lost my faith, and its going to take awhile to get it back. If you can wait, then i'll stay. If you cant, then i'll leave. Its as simple as that. I'm not pushing you to your limits nor am i threatening you with anything. Its beyond that stage already.

I just dun want to disappoint you anymore, bottom line.

Loves,
Fiona (your ex-superstar)

Fuck Fbar.

Perhaps its really time to leave.

I dun know why, but somehow i dun feel like bothering myself with any of Fbar's shit anymore. Even i dun know why i have such fucked up thoughts. Maybe its like what A says i am, i'm fucked up and slacking.

But still, i dun think i give a shit. And i dun know why.

Perhaps i stopped fighting for Captain a long time ago. Perhaps i gave up on myself. I wont and will never know.

R says he's sad with my actions, just because i enquired who did this particular duty on the day i was off. I supposed he got scolded, and i feel that he's taking it out on me, just because he got scolded and i didnt. I felt like telling him to fuck off, because its not as if i didnt get any scoldings when i did something wrong. Isnt it supposed to be fair? Then again, life isnt fair.

Who the hell cares about the team? Oh wait, team? MY FOOT.

Nobody gives a shit.

Maybe Pam, because she asked me not to tender.

R can have Captain for all i care. Why would i want a post that pays me less than a hundred more, that comes with alot more shit to do? I would rather not.

Yes, i may be disappointing somebody who thinks thought i'm a superstar. But not anymore, this superstar is burnt out. I tired of working like a cow for that meagre sum of money thats not even enough for me to live on. Why must i make myself suffer? As if working like a cow is not enough but with pay delays, irregular dinner breaks (like at 2am please) and other fucked up shit. I've had enough, no more being nice.

I bite back now.

My life is so fucked up that i dun even have life anymore, whether i'm working or not, its still down to the workplace, returning my pay to the company by spending it on drinks. I dun even know why i'm doing this, i really dun.

Memory's failing me, i get confused suddenly and i make mistakes. Then i get fucked because i made a mistake. It feels as if i'm a robot already, not allowed to do anything i think its right, but to follow another person's permission and i'm supposed to understand.

Fuck understanding, i dun want to understand anymore. For what fuck i understand?

Maybe i should stay on awhile to help with his third outlet. I used to be, after all, trained in fine dining.

My life sucks, level of tolerance is waning.

Frenching competition.

I cannot believe you did that Clara!

You slut you.

HAHAH!

But it was fun!

Alex left me near 12am, so that he could go home and prepare himself to go into NDU. And i cried, right after he left, because i would miss him so very much.

Boo!

Alex and Pam's last day.

Today, i lost two very valuable colleagues. One of which, was the best part-timer i ever had to opportunity to work with. Another was my ex-Floor Captain, who turned part-timer because of school.

Alex appeared in Kandi Bar on the two days that i was off work. I came back on his third day to meet him for the first time. I must admit that i never really thought much about him, because he wasnt attached to me and that i wasnt working in the same section as he was. But on his thitd day, both of us, plus afew others got transferred to Fbar.

It was in Fbar that i realised how much i can depend on him. The small things that i requested for him to help me with was done efficiently and without a complaint.

I still remember the time where M (this super weird but rich customer) came to Fbar and demanded for two bottles of Moet Rose. Since he ordered two bottles and i only had a pair of hands to open one at a time, i sought Alex's help in opening them.

The thing that i didnt anticipate was, that Alex wasnt that apt at opening champange bottles at that point of time. Of course, by now he is some sort of a professional at opening champange bottles. His unsureness (which leads to his confused expression, which is so bunny-like really) led to his being scolded by the guest, saying that he was "stupid because he didnt know how to open champange". It was situations like these that made him one powerful floor staff today.

On the other hand, he is the biggest sarcastic bitch alive.

I swear to the heavens above, he gets on my nerves sometimes, with the sarcasm that he provides. But still, i love him all the same, because he's Alex, the one and only.

Thanks for the four months of fun, Alex. Thanks for being there when i needed someone to talk to, although you always "sian" girls. HAHAH.

Pam appeared in the beginning of this year as my Floor Captain. We had our differences, but it was all worked out in the end and she's a good friend of mine. She kept me very alert because i am after all, a person who doesnt want to lose to competition. She made me learn how to be meticulous and less stressed (because she's my FC, i didnt have to worry about the floor that much anymore). The events that we worked together with and the bloody four hours break that we had to go through, the Macallan session, my birthday Waterfall and many other little incidents that i will never forget.

Because she's one insane person. I swear to God. She pokes my boobs and shoves her pen(s) down my butt crack for the fun of it, plus calling it her "Pen Test" make each working day with her interesting, not that i really enjoyed her shoving pens into my butt and poking my boobs with them. But still, she's part of my team.

For all the times that you were caught in the middle because of me, thanks Pam, for everything that you've done.

Team Fbar. (Without Wendy ( on leave) and Jean (not allowed to come back))

His scared bunny look, because he's about to die.

He got his favourite, Macallan soda.

The two look-alikes who are about to die a horrible death. HAHA.

Presents first! Neon green g-string from all of us and Nike cap from Pam.

William wanted a photo with Alex.

William with the two pre-tekan-ed people.

William was annoyed with the many straws.

Time to die!

At this point, there was a video taken, but my blog is a bitch, so i cant upload it here. The link will be provided at the end of the entry. =)

After drinking the double Waterfall with two 151 shots, they became like that.

Then it was time to have more fun!

This is what Raymus likes to do to Alex.

A very high Pam.

Will you look at this classic photo? Clara is so nonchalant please. I dun think i need to say more for Alex's case.

Then came the attack!

I was holding the whipped creme and laughing my ass off.

Raymus grabbed the can of whipped creme and proceeds to continue tekan-ing Alex.

See! Can you believe Raymus please! Never give chance!

The bar prepared two jugs of liquid to be poured over Alex and Pam, it was a concoction of leftover beer, cranberry juice, cherries, ciggarette butts and i-dun-know-what-else. Then topped off with some major whipped creme to the face. From the photos, you can tell it was one hell of a last day celebration.

Alex went home as a very drunk man. He slept in the toilet till 9am, his whole body and head was aching and he was moaning away. The bomb was that his mom thought he was having an orgasm. Its fucking funny. But i guess everyone will kena the same treatment when they announce their last day.

I wonder if i announce my last day, will i die a horrible death?

Click here for the video. =)

I swear.

I swear i'll fucking blog about whatever thats going on by tonight.

Provided that i get back home before midnight. =)





[/edit]





I slept like a pig and i didnt even go out. What a waste of my off day. Anyway, my chalet was one boring shit. There was nothing to do and nothing was planned for us to do. It was boring shit and i so wanted to shoot myself. If only i brought EC along.

Anyway, do not ever drink one whole or most of one bottle of black label to yourself because you will end up getting bruises that you dun know how in the world they came about.

Like these.








Fyi, the bruises have faded by alot since i got them because i had no time to take photos of them. They were a delicious purple when i got them, which hurt like a bitch whenever i brushed against them.

So please take my advice and not do anything stupid with premium whiskey. Especially if it involves playing blackjack and other stupid stunts.

I went back on Day two in early evening because there was nothing to do.

So i went clubbing with Clara at night! We went to somewhere and Narene and Neh joined us later. Narene is so cute please.

I got bloody high after like alot of drinks and then it was to Zouk. Velvet was fucking boring, esp when you're high. So we went to Phuture and i got elbowed because these two idiots were fighting right in front of me. Fuck them lah. Stupid cheebyes who dun know how to enjoy.

We left at 430am and it was home sweet home for us.

No more piercings.

I took out all my mouth piercings.

Bit of Chalet.

Chalet.

Fell in the bathroom.

Fell off the chairs.

Fell and rolled down the stairs.

Enough bruises and bumps already!

Irritance

Sometimes i wished i was invisible.

I hate being scrutinized. I hate it. Thus, i hate people in general.

I wish i didnt have to be who i am.

GO AWAY PEOPLE.

Stay out of my blog

I dun know why some people just choose to insult my personal life.

Firstly, these people actually check out my Friendster and read my blog entries. I am super appalled at the fact that i'm being told to not do this or that with MY OWN BLOODY FRIENDSTER AND BLOG.

I do whatever i please. None of you can stop me even.

The bomb comes when i find out that i have a Publicity Officer that i never knew about. IT goes around telling my other colleagues and God-knows-who-else to read my blog and check out my Friendster!

I think that is so not cool. For what flying fuck are you going around and telling others to read my blog? GET YOUR OWN BLOODY BLOG AND PUBLICIZE IT.

STOP PUBLICIZING MY BLOG AND STAY THE FUCK AWAY.

I hate it when people stick there long noses into my personal affairs. Its like telling me that you have a wonderful life and i suck because i dun.

Stay out of my affairs. The last time somebody tried to make changes to my blog, the person ended up not feeling very good about themselves.

Clara's car

Clara's car broke down the other day!

I must rmb to blog about this soon!

YLDP recalls.

I read Louise's blog. She blogged about YLDP and all of a sudden, i miss being a Student Leader.

First of all, you'll prolly scoff and delude tell yourself that Fiona was never a Student Leader. But its pure fact that i graduated with a Vice-head Prefect position in my certificate. I am so not lying. I utterly refuse to put up my chachat photo of me wearing a blazer, because i was a fucking fat round tub of..oh never mind.

Anyway, when i first transferred to Northland in 2003, i had the worst first week in school. Its like having to make friends all over again made it all the more sufferable for me. I hated my decision to accept my transfer to another school, but then again, i had no choice since i was expelled in early 2003.

You can never imagine the emotional trauma i went through during my first week of school. Being new and all that, i had to learn how to make friends all over again. Worst of all, i had never been to a mixed gender school, because i spent eight years in single sex schools and i was pretty much comfortable with my gender.

Then came the comments. "Go back to your lesbian school lah!" "You dun belong here! Get lost!". All these i took in my stride, looking away whenever these comments were thrown at me, just wishing that i didnt have to take such shit. Being the violent person that i am, i could have gotten into so many fights because of the things they said. But oh well, i dun even know why i didnt react.

I settled down and within ten weeks, i became a Student Leader. Its funny how i was the most infamous person in Sac and a Student Leader in Northland. Even i dun know how it happened.

Then in six months i became the Co-Chairman of Student Council. I mean, LOOK AT ME. I was the Co-Chairman of the STUDENT COUNCIL?! How the hell?! Still, i was voted by the people to be their in-charge. I took it without a complaint. But there were too many fucked up politics that i cannot figure out to this day. It was too much for me, waay too much for anyone.

Then suddenly at the end of 2004, the system changed and i became the Vice-Chairman of the Student Council, in-charge of all four Sport House. Boy oh boy! Having to lead the four different House Leaders was hell! Its like having four kids that dun listen to your instructions! In secret, i hated my jobscope and the people that came with it. Its like, you happy you talk to me. You not happy you attitude me.

CHAO CHEE TOOT.

Its not like its my fault that i have to manage you monkies okay?!

Anyway, still i had alot of fun being one of the most important in the Council. I mean, come on, i was the Vice-Chairman after all. Then we moved on, to become N/O level students and suddenly we had to oversee the events that the juniors were running. Its super comical to hear them calling one another when they know of any Council members that were going to be at a certain event. I've ever overheard a junior calling another junior who was at the event venue, telling he/she that i was going to be at the event venue in the next half an hour. Its like they care, ALOT. As in care if any of the Council members are coming down, because they would for sure get fucked immediately if we spot any mistakes.

I miss the debriefs where we could scream use profanities at the event organisers on every mistake that they made. I never said that during my time, we were perfect. But we sure didnt do mistakes like theirs!

But now, its over. Its been over since 2005. Once us old birds stepped down and the new council was appointed, it was all over. No more fights, no more tears, no more spewing of vulgarities at one another. Everyone split up and it was every man for himself. We all drifted apart and EBians were with EBians etc and it was like an immediate effect right after we stepped down.

Life went on.

The council members in Express took their Os and the rest took Ns. It was a different pathway already.

I hated it the most when i went back to Sec5 in 2006 to hear things like, "You are a Student Leader, you should do this and that."

LIKE, FUCK YOU. FUCK OFF PLEASE!

I spent most of my school year in 2006 drifting in and out of school. It was because i hated school and i didnt have alot of friends left, plus a different class altogether.

Then i had to deal with losing Louise and idunknow who else. Everything started to melt and stick together in my face. I hated it. I hated not being able to be in control of my future.

But oh well, its all over. I just miss Mdm Ho's classes where i was the bloody CHINESE REP and i spoke English most of the time. HAHA.

By the way, i'm single again!

Joke.

Haha. I'm a joke.

Underage party at Clinic

I met up with Eve and went down to Clarke Quay. As usual, the rat is always hungry, so we had to find food before we headed down to Clarke Quay.

Once we got there, it was to Kandi bar first because we saw Apai and Paladin. Then we decided to head to Fashion for drinks and i got my usual second favourite, burbon coke. I made everyone take a photo with me, with the exception of Santos because he's a pain in the ass.

Marcus, the super adorable angkongsiao Dj.

Selva is mad!

Evie and i.

Raymus and his poses.

Selva looks like he's getting an orgasm touching Santos.

Santos and Selva. The two crazy people in the bar.

Wendy, my Supervisor. She is the first female Supervisor in Cannery.

They camwhored with my camera and i only found out when i got home. Tsk.

Bedah and Cyn with their "vodka" shots.

Cyn and Bedah got so OWNED at Fashion. See, Santos was playing with a empty bottle of Vladivar vodka, where bartenders usually put water in it and practice freepouring. He took three shot glasses and presumingly poured "vodka" shots for Cyn and Bedah. Eve and i knew that it was just tap water, but Bedah and Cyn didnt. So they were going like, "Eh! TAH AH!"

And they drank the "vodka" shot only to find out that it was water. It was fucking cheebye funny! I laughed like mad and said that they were OWNED by Fashion. Their faces was a fucking classic please.

After drinks, we headed over to Clinic to check out the underaged crowd. The amount of Bengs and Cosplay people were enough to swim in. I decided not to take any photos of them, because i was too bothered by the annoying smell that was coming from the crowd. So Eve and i waved our passes and went upstairs.

The view from Balcony @ Clinic. Just look at the infestation!

View from the main floor @ Clinic.

So Eve and i went back down and joined the smelly crowd on the main area with Doriee, Bedah and Cyn. All of us gravated to the music and had alot of fun while sweating like pigs in a hot summer day. It was horrendeous, i tell you

So we all went out for a smoke and came back in to take photos with people!

Chris aka Lang Zai (pretty boy). He calls me Lang Lui (pretty girl).

I found this soft surgery like table and i hopped on and took pictures!

Okay, its official. I am insane.

Kenni, Manager of Clinic. He also another insane person with his nonsense.

It was fun at Clinic, but too bad about the smell. I really wanted to die. Even when i met Effen and told him about the smell, he didnt believe me and i had to ask him to smell it himself. After that, he walked around Clinic holding his nose. He's super cute, i forgot to take his photo, so thus no pictures of him. =( The smell was so bad that it felt like everyone was sent to run 6rounds around the Padang for Physical Ed and went clubbing after that. Do they not know deoderant?

James, the ever hot and sexy club Supervisor who wants me to lose 16kg before he courts me. Like very funny James. But you're hot all the same.

We left Clinic around 3am. Bedah and Cyn went home, whilst the rest of my Fashion staff, Eve and Doriee joined up and went to drink at one of our secret spots. Then we made plans for tmr and we all left for home.

This was one off day well spent.

Everything sucks

I've never been this down my whole life. Even with a high paying job and a boyfriend.

Everything just seems to suck.

Insane things i do when i'm half drunk.

Okay, let me try and recall what i did yesterday.

First, i went to sleep. I'm serious, i did! Then James called me at 1pm and told me that he just woke up, and i'm like "walau eh, dun need to go CDM already." because i just woke up too. Then he said he'll call me back, and while i was waiting, i fell asleep. I was jolted awake by his second call, which we spent talking about his phobia of snakes and Clinic's gay night.

Then he had to go and eat, the pig.

So i went to meet Xia and Sheila at town, where we did some major catching up with insane talking and and story-telling. Then we bus-ed/ NEL-ed down to Cannery and ended up at Clinic. I had to drink most of the whiskey coke that i bought, because Xia and Sheila didnt tell me that they dun like whiskey. I was alil high after all the whiskey then i met Michelle.

Michelle told me Zen was in Clinic and asked me to follow her, which i did. Oh boy, bad thing to do. I met Jeff upstairs and i got a 151 shot immediately, plus he did his cheebye thing of putting tobasco in it again. I helped Michelle to drink hers also, since i was a quarter gone already. Zen gave me vodka redbull and i drank it without thinking plus i hate vodka and redbull. Then i think i went mad after that because i somewhat remember that i grinded Chris while he was working.

Debbie and Angel were at Clinic also, so we all gathered at the bar and danced.

Then i think i went down, and met Zen, who asked me to go to St James. Michelle made me sit onto the sofa because i was insane and W walked past and saw me.

I went, "OH SHIT."

He stopped and walked back to where i was and stared at me. My vision wasnt that powerful at that moment and i actually asked Michelle if that person was W. Plus, he heard it.

Like WOW fiona, you did it.

Then i said, "Dun worry W! I'll be at work tmr! I'll be there at 4pm!" And he said, "You better be man."

I remembered okay. Oh, and then Zen and Michelle were pulling me to go to St James, but i said i had to say bye to James. So we went to look for him and i think i kissed him or something. Plus i met Jeremy inside and i think i kissed him also.

FUCK, i AM INSANE.

So off it was to St James. As it was Ladies Night, all of us got in for free. Then i had to sit down, because i was fucking insanely high. Plus, i had a vodka cranberry in my hand, which i have no flying idea how it got there, but i remember the taste.

We went to get LP in and then i had to go out and get Adam. I dun know how Adam knows i was there, but he came all the same. But Dragonfly was being the cheebye because they didnt let him in due to the age limit. Ah, fuck them lah. So Adam, Michelle, LP and i ended up smoking outside, then i met the HK tycoon that i served the other day, plus apparently he remembers me.

His boys tried getting Adam in, but the bouncers didnt allow it.

So too bad.

I somehow got to the bar and got myself my favourite burbon coke. I finished it and then we left. Adam had to support me because my legs refused to cooperate. We all got into a cab and went to Newton for supper.

OMG, i just found a water blister on my middle finger. What the flying fuck please. Who burnt me with their cig?

We ate and i think i did some insane shit while i was there. Prolly the whole of Newton knows me now. Shit, what the fuck did i do?

Then i cannot remember what happened, but i woke up in the cab, lying on Adam's shoulder. Fuck lah Adam, i remember your smell now! I became sober and we stopped at the MRT station. Then spent another 15mins talking to Adam about nightlife, then he had to go. So i went home.

I'm one insane bitch, i swear.

First warning letter.

I got my first warning letter on the 1st of this month. Sure, it sucks. But i had no choice but to sign it. Sometimes, i have fucked up thoughts, like why should we be given warning letters? Its like, we work all the way till 5am and what if the transport has complications? Then that would shorten our sleeping time, wouldnt it?

Lets say, i worked till 5am today and transport comes at 530am. We are all waiting for transport when we received the information that the transport is late. So what the fuck can we do? Wait lah, no choice.

I've ever waited till 730am for North transport and i had to work the next day at 5pm.

The day only has 24hours. Thats not alot of time. If i come in early, i dun see any praisal. But if i'm late, then i'm liable to receive warning letters and telling offs. I come on time, i also get naggings. I seriously dun know what am i supposed to do. Do i come on time? Or early? Or what?

I come early i dun get anything, i come on time i get nagged, i come late i get warning letter.

All also not very good options what.

Anyway, i signed the letter already. To me, i know that W has given me alot of chances when i was late. So, its only fair that i get a warning letter this time.

The warning letter comes with consequences. One letter is equivilant to no promotion for the next three months. But its okay, i just got promoted. Once the three months is up, i think i would have fought hard enough for another promotion.

My life sucks, bottomline.

Movie with Management

Its fucking cheebye cold out there.

So i headed down to Fashion for a meeting (that i called for) with Wendy. I spoke to her about my annoyance and she's going to do something about it. So lets just wait and see.

I met James while on the way to Fashion, and he told me that they (William, Keen, Vicki and him) were all going to watch a movie at Cathay. So i told him that i'll decide later (which obviously i will go) and that i had a meeting. William helped me book my ticket online and it was the green light. So yay.

We watched Letters from Iwo Jima. Its one fucked up movie please. I got nauseous halfway through the movie because the cameraman practically threw his camera around the scenes. It made me nauseous and i so do not like the feeling. I seriously still feel like vomitting now.

The movie was long and draggy and i dun know what else. Stupid show.

I is still feeling the vomitting sensation. Do not provoke me to throw up over you.

James says i'm fat. If i'm fat then he's black. No pun intended.

CDM with William and the rest.

Work has been a drag recently. It feels as if i've lost the passion for everything. Everything is getting on my nerves.

Sick, quarrels, disagreements.

The three things that make me annoyed. I've really had enough. This time round, i really want to transfer no matter what. Zee's leaving, so why should i still bother about anything anymore? Perhaps part of the reason why i'm staying on as a server is because of him. But now, i dun think i really need to any longer.

I know W dotes on me alot. I can sense it. But maybe its time to let go.

On a brighter note, James asked me to CDM on Sunday. I agreed. But after work i didnt go home straight away. I joined Eve and Lp at Mac whilst we waited for the rest to appear. Apple, Woodblock and Michelle appeared soon after and we all left to cab to Cine.

We ate at HongKong Cafe. The food there wasnt the best i've had, but oh well, its still a eatery. We all finished our food, except for Apple and Michelle. Then Apple found something in her food. It was a *piece of metal scourer, the kind you use to wash dishes in the sink aka DIRTY DISHES.

(* note that it wasnt a FULL WHOLE metal scourer. But a piece of the metal thing.)

I was horrified to the max.

Apple called the server over and he was too stunned to do anything. So he got it from me, when i asked him what was he waiting for and to get his manager over. Then his manager came over, and got hell from me because of no food quality control. Then he offered to change the dish for Apple but she seemed really turned off by the food already, so she declined. He took the dish and walked away, without even apologising for anything.

I got even more annoyed.

He went into the kitchen while the rest of us gave our opinion on the issue. Then i couldnt stand it anymore and i yelled at nobody in particular, saying "So are we all supposed to wait for your apology?!"

He came back and apologised, then he re-offered to replace Apple's dish. But Apple still didnt want it, so we called for the bill, paid and left.

I reached home and showered then i left for Cafe Del Mar. You have no idea how long i waited for a damn cab please. By the time i reached CDM, it was twelve in the afternoon. I was one tired person please. But still, i had fun watching W and K having fun.

W, K and James decided to go swimming. So Vicki and i had to carry all their stuff.

Then W fell asleep on the bed and Kenny couldnt wake him up. So Kenny disappeared while James flared. It was down to Vicki and i, talking away. Naddie was attached there as a cashier also.

I finally went to bathe and when i came out, everyone asked me where i was going because of what i wore.

We wanted to go sit this Sky ride, but too bad it was closed. So we went over to the taxi stand and sat the Maxi cab! K asked me to help massage his shoulders and he asked W if he got give me bonus or not. I laughed.

We went to Cine to check out the movie times and then we walked over to PS to eat Aijisen. The Supervisor or Manager was fucking annoying to the max. Everyone was fucking hungry and dead tired, but yet she kept telling us about the green tea being changed to what price and i dun know what else. W just stared at her while K rested his head onto the table, V was on the phone and i dun know what was James doing.

She rattled on and on and i just told her to do what she wanted to the price and add all she wants.

Then she went away.

It was peace at last. But the way they greet their customers was fucking annoying and James kept getting goosebumps. And James eats like a horse. But i dun really care anyway.

We went to watch Protege at Cathay and i met Denise Ong and Karen. I was watching the show halfway and i fell asleep which was fucking retarded. We left Cathay at midnight and i cabbed home first. =)

Okay, now i have to get my ass to Clarke Quay. Okay bye.

Flip.

Love dun let me go.

Sigh.

Everyday its problems and more problems that i have to solve. I dun even know why the living fuck i bother to solve them problems. Sometimes i wish i was the undead.

Plus, i want to transfer over to PR. But, i think W will flip.

Like seriously flip.

Fuck the nineteen years that i've lived

Sometimes, i think back and i realised that i've been through alot of shit. I think about the past between Mel and i, like how we were not together-gether and all the shit, tears and probably blood that i've shed for the whole period of time. But never mind, you wouldnt understand anyway.

Nobody understands how i work. Each and everytime someone tells me that i've given them attitute and shown my temper is talking fucking bullshit.

FUCK YOU.

Nobody has seen me at my worst, yet.

I may be the insane one that blows up at times, but thats just annoyance actually. Its not even full blown eruption yet. At times, i feel like grabbing a rock glass and bashing it onto someone's head till their skull cracks. I can want to be able to feel the blood rushing through my hands and head. Then maybe i'll be appeased by all the blood.

Its fun!

I am psychotic. I've never denied that.

Thats how i am. I'm the straightforward person that tells you to fuck off in your face.

I think about my results and where i can go after that. Then the reality check hits me again, as i remember that i didnt quite make it because i failed Maths and Science. Fuck Maths and Science please. This is the only two subjects that are full of bullshit and is of no real use
to anyone.

I dun see me telling the customer to x1-y1/ y2-x1 whenever i'm talking to them. It'll be retarded wouldnt it?

Then i think about it again, i cant go anywhere already. I've reached the end of my education. I'm tired, i seriously am. Everyday is a battle to fight for something that i dun even know about. I have nothing, except for a N and O level certs plus alot of other nonsensical certs. I dun even know why i bother to keep fighting for something that i dun even know if i need in the future.

Fuck life. Bottom line.

All i have is the knowledge of spirits, champange and wines. Even so, my knowledge is limited, because everything i know is bits and pieces. So in the end, it's as though i dun know anything at all.

Bah, my life sucks. I dun even know why i lived nineteen years in vain for.

YM LAH.

My nineteenth birthday.

Its my birthday today!

And i'm at home because i got so fucking wasted after work yesterday.

I had a Flaming Lamborgini from Kathy (my regular), tequila shot from Effen, Waterfall with two Barcadi 151 shots from Alan, plus an extra shot of 151 from Alex. I met up with the rest at Kandi, feeling alittle bit high already. Then Alex (he held my hand! HAHA.) brought me over to Mos because he saw my friend there.

I screamed when Adam was right in front of me, then i looked behind him and saw Eve. I'm like what the fuck please. Those that went with me, got drinks on me. I was so fucking high but i remembered that i dropped my Corona and i threw another into the reservoir. Plus my cigarettes were also in the water and i think i was being an overall noisy pest.

I was fucking wasted and i didnt know how the hell i got into a cab. I only woke up when Zee asked me to give directions to my block. How the hell i got home after i got off the cab was a miracle, because i was fucking wasted to the max.

I only woke up at 4pm, wondering where the hell am i.

Then i realised that i fell asleep just like that, in my Rolling Stones shirt. I amaze myself sometimes.

Now, its off to Clarke Quay because i have to make Alex die with six 151 shots. HAHA!

Baby's reply.

Its Valentine's Day!

Santos celebrated his birthday yesterday, too bad i wasnt around to witness it. I was with Zee at Youth Park, Cine.

I asked Adam for a solution to my question and i ended up posing the question to Zee after some mass encouragement from Adam. Its official, its not an affair.

I feel relieved at his reply. I finally found someone who likes my violent personality. He likes it when theres someone of the opposite gender daring enough to go against him. For example, he can ask me to fuck off, and i can tell him to fuck off back. How interesting, i found the perfect guy. Its just too bad theres one complex problem between us.

Seriously, i feel safe in his arms.

If he didnt meet his wife earlier then he met me, i think i would have been married by now. =S

But i'm not a slut, and i dun break up people's marriage.

Curious though, his transsexual friend doesnt like me. I wonder if its because she's afraid.

Me: "Baby, if one day a customer molests me, will you get angry?"
Him: *looks at me and nods.*
After awhile.....
Him: "But then again, i believe you know how to protect yourself right?"
Me: "Of course, you should know whoever that touches me will get free piercings* after that."

*I'll jam my corkscrew through your face, is what i meant by "free piercings."


Remember three years ago, i went for OBS (16th -20th Feb 2004) and i fell in love? The guy i fell for was Elroy, and he's goddamn good looking now.


*wails* OH WHY DID I GIVE UP?!







The shorter guy.


OMG, i think i am going to die.

Poly Sucks

In case you were wondering, i got 25points for L1R4.

It sucks balls, and there goes my MCM course. I need to go down to the different polys and appeal to get interviews.

RAH!

Snitch

Fwah, dun let me find out who became a snitch and blabbed to everyone because my corkscrew is waiting to be jammed through something.

Anyway, sorry W. I felt your disappointment. If i had a choice, i wouldnt want things this way either. Its got nothing to do with Eve or anyone else. Everything was my fault.

Again, i'm sorry. =(

CDM on a Sunday.

It was off to CDM (Cafe Del Mar) straight after Saturday's work. Eve and i got there first and we met up with Paladine and Angie. I waited 30minutes for a menu and i ended up asking for one. Then i waited another 30minutes for someone to get my order, which nobody did and i had to wave my arm around so that someone can finally notice me and get my order.

I ordered a Mojito and it came only after 25minutes (and after i complained to Bear that i havent gotten my drink yet). The drink came in a rock glass and it wasnt a really good Mojito.

Me: "So it takes around half an hour for me to get my mojito aye?"

Guy: "Sorry."

Me: "Its okay."

Eve and i decided to walk all the way to 7-11 to get stuff. I spent like $50 just walking there and back. Paladine and Angie left after awhile because he had a headache. So Eve and i joined Botak and James. I swear Botak and James have this great passion for flaring. They flared non-stop throughout the whole time at the beach. Santos and his friend, Candy only came at 12pm with the Martell.

We all waited for Zee and i fell asleep for awhile, only to be woken up by Eve because Zee messaged me. He was on his way, reaching Sentosa. By the time he got there, i was supposed to go to work already. But Santos psychoed me to take an MC, which i did.

Then Zee came and we went to walk around CDM and to be wowed at their bills on hold, because their bills is fucking alot. We left for KM8 after that.

KM8 was the bomb. We got free coke which we spiked with Martell. Then Santos and Zee flared while i started learning how to spin the tin with my left hand. I got bored after awhile though, so much for learning how to flare. We ordered food and it was the bomb. They flared somemore and i fell asleep.

I only woke up to Zee's presence beside me. Then i was about to fall asleep in his arms, when Eve pulled on my leg because she wanted me to go shower with her. So i had to leave his hug and go bathe.

When i came back, it was quite dark already and i heard Rej! Then i talked to Terence and we discussed our poly options. He left after awhile, and so did we. I forgot to say bye to Brant though.

Santos and Candy went off in a cab first and Zee, Eve and i walked out to the bus-stop to waited for the bus. The three of us ended up at Vivo where we called for a cab so that we didnt have to queue.

I fell asleep at home when i was supposed to go meet Eve for Bar None. She is so going to kill me when she sees me again. =)

My off day sucks.

Living Room on Saturday with William and my colleagues. We started off with three jugs of vodka cranberry. Then suddenly, a bottle of Absolut appeared. We were all stunned and it sure wasnt funny when all the mixers and glasses came. We finished the bottle in like 20minutes, which is fucking fast please. I was like fucking high, because i drank too fast. And i poured tobasco sauce into William's drink, then he smacked me.

Sunday was one mad day, because of a small function that was happening at Fbar. Zay from Gucci reserved the whole of C section just for her birthday celebration. Things started to heat up after 10pm and i sold like three bottles of Veuve and three bottles of Chivas. Wendy signed a Waterfall with a shot of 151. I served the Waterfall, but i dumped the 151 shot into the Sambucca first.

I got to the table to see Jean serving a Lamborgini to Zay. Then i presented the Waterfall and she screamed. So i decided not to tell her that i dumped a 151 shot into the Sambucca, or else she might run away and not come back. She finished the Lamborgini and then i served the Waterfall. But when i poured in the baileys with blue curacao, she stopped drinking and pushed her way through the crowd and ran to the toilet.

So she didnt finish her drink. I was okay with that, because she bought so many bottles already. I offered to help her cut her birthday cake and i got my $139 DP jeans stained with chocolate.

I was pretty okay in handling everything till i read Zee's message. I got worried and i couldnt call Zee immediately because Jean chose to go to the toilet to change her tampon and the floor needed me. I got really worried and distracted. But he was okay in the end.

Monday was my off day, but i had to go down to MOS because of the palm in system. Its fucking annoying because they had to program it from scratch plus Kandi and Fashion's staff were all kept waiting for three hours just so we could do some fucking palm in that takes five minutes. Ate dinner with Santos, Brant and Zee after that. Then it was to Fashion for a drinking session with William and a bottle of Macallan. Zee left abruptly and i waited till closing for transport to go home.

My off day sure sucked balls.

Alan's Birthday, Fashion Bar.

Waterfall with two shots of Barcadi 151.

Its been such a long time since i gave you guys something to read. Alot of things has happened since January started, and they all ended with a bad note. The Bar None, Bedroom Bar matter kinda blew up in my face. He threw money at my face and told me that he took the fuck for my MC and this was how i treated him. It seems that i just lost a friend, but its okay, because i dun need such childish people to be my friend. If i had a choice, i wouldnt take an MC either, but i felt like fuck and i knew i couldnt perform at work, so thus i took an MC.

He kept saying that he got all the blame for my MCs. But i dun think its true. W is fair, he wouldnt fuck him for things like that. I know it, so dun try to lie to me because i'm not a three year old. But whatever, since he wants it like that, then he can jolly well have it like that. Since he exposed himself already.

We've stopped talking already, because it was what he wanted.

On the other hand, i'm really confused. So am i having an affair with a married man? If i'm not then why am i feeling like that? All confused and muddle-headed.

I went out with Eve the other day, with LP and the rest. We met up in town and headed to Eve's friend's workplace, some old ah lian pub. We had two jugs of Heineken and played some pool, then i left at 2plus in the morning to meet Zee after Kandi closed.

Eve wasnt very happy with me going to meet Zee. She called me.

Eve: "Where are you?"
Me: "Outside Kandi Bar?"
Eve: "I told you not to go already right?!"
Me: "Nothing's going to happen lah."
Eve: "How can you be like that! You my gffff......."
Me: "What did you say? I dun get you."
Eve: "Cheebye, you my girlfriend lah! Happy?!"
Me: "Hahah. Okay lah. Anything happen then i tell you alright?"

So cute right. She like want to say but shy to say.

I spent the night with Zee, just the two of us talking away.
What the hell were you people thinking we were doing? To you, it may seem like an affair.

But to me, its bliss.

Tired

Bah. I'm tired.

New Floor Captain coming next week!

Alex

I lost my fucking wallet.

But some kind soul brought it back to me. So thank God and bless his kind soul, Amen.

Work has been stressful these days. According to my sister, i have been sleep-motioning when i'm sleeping. Its not funny at all. It seems that i do things that i normally do at work when i'm sleeping.

Maybe i should video it all down and laugh at myself.

Oh yes, Alex reads my blog. Everybody say HELLO to Alex!

Alex is this part-timer at Fashion. He's super funny and a tad bit gay. He's the biggest gossipmonger and he's also alittle retarded. I say he's retarded because he's super slow in his reaction to anger. The other time he had to help me in serving champange to this impatient customer and i didnt know he wasnt sure (or something) how to open champanges. The long and short of it was that the customer said he was stupid and Alex's face was a classic.

Best of all, he only got angry like half an hour later or something.

Alex makes me laugh alot during work. Its because of all the nonsense that comes out of his mouth and the way he says things. He told me about this incident that made him fear cockroaches for life.

See, when he was a little boy. (primary school to be exact) He opened his bag to face a flying cockroach flying out of it. The cockroach flew up and hit him on his forehead, with a PIAK! At that point of time, i broke into giggles and had a hard time breathing. He proceed on and told me about another similar incident that happened two-three days after the first one.

Apparently, he opened his cupboard only to face another cockroach flying up and smacking him on his face again, with another PIAK! When he ended the story, i laughed and laughed so much that i couldnt even hold the ashtrays properly. It was fucking hilarious, i swear.

Plus, Alex doesnt believe that i'm only turning nineteen. plus i'm more zai then him. He's one year older and extremely cute, so if you're a straight girl and looking for a dick. I suggest you look for Alex, because he's one hell of a cute guy. =)

Alex is so going to kill me. =))

MEME.

Layer ONE- On the Outside
Name: Fiona
Birth Date: 19th Feb 1988. (That makes me nineteen this year.)
Current Status: Flinging.
Eye Color: Brown.
Hair Color: I colour my hair too much, so i thinks its auburn red.
Righty or Lefty: I write with my right hand.
Zodiac Sign: Aquarious/ Dragon

Layer TWO - On the inside
Your Heritage: Chinese.
Your Fears: Disappointing others.
Your Weaknesses: I think too fast sometimes.
Your Perfect Pizza: Cheese and Ham.

Layer THREE - Yesterday, Today, Tomorrow
Your thoughts first waking up: Ah, fuck. The sun.
Your Bedtime: 6am onwards.
Your most missed memory: Idk.

Layer FOUR - Your Pick
Pepsi or Coke: Neither.
McDonald’s or Burger King: Burger King please.
Adidas or Nike: Adidas.
Lipton tea or Nestea: Lipton.
Chocolate or vanilla: Chocolate.
Cappuccino or coffee: Cappuccino

Layer FIVE -Do you
Smoke: I smoke too much.
Curse: Yeah, fuck you.

Layer SIX - In the Past Month
Drank alcohol: Too much till i must give it up.
Gone to the mall: Sadly, no.
Been on stage: No.
Eaten sushi: Yes!
Dyed your hair: Nope.

Layer SEVEN - Have You Ever?
Played a stripping game: Unsure.
Changed who you were to fit in: I tried. But the old me always comes back.

Layer EIGHT
Age you’re hoping to be married: 26?

Layer NINE - In a Girl/Guy
Best eye colour: No preference.
Best hair colour: I do not want an ah beng as my boyfriend.
Short or long hair: No Paul Twohill wannabes.

Layer TEN - What Were You Doing
1 minute ago: Telling Ernest not to be late.
1 hour ago: Watching Coyote Ugly.
4.5 hours ago: Out for dinner.
1 month ago: Working.
1 year ago: Starting my O level year.

Layer ELEVEN - Finish the sentence
I love: all my pioneer Kandi staff.
I feel: like cutting off my back because it hurts.
I hate: to be sick.
I hide: whenever i want to.
I miss: having someone to dote on me.
I need: some love in my life.

Layer TWELVE - Tag 5 people
Whoever lah. Bedah especially.

Anti alcohol

I give up drinking and alcohol.

I'll never touch alcohol again.

Drinking with the boys.

Fuck, i think i just fell for my bartender. And just when i thought i was so over all these retarded issues with men.

It was a drinking session with the men after work yesterday. It was mad because they all were drinking stout and i had enough of beer. But still, i joined them and had alot of fun. Sunday's gonna be even more of a crazy day with all of them, with four bottles of Barcadi 151 and JW and i-dun-know-what-else-are-they-going-to-come-up-with. Then Ace had to say he sponsor twenty four bottles of Evian. It made us all laugh and show Ace the middle finger.

I will always love all of my staff.

Then i got some news from Ace, that i'm promoting to Floor Captain soon! The least i'll get is Senior Server, the most is Floor Captain.

Tsk.

They should have promoted me a long time ago. =)

FUCK YOU KANDI.

Fuck 2007 i say.

I hate people who are inefficient, MIA, take MCs and are late. FUCK YOU AND WHATEVER YOU STAND FOR.

I'm uper annoyed with the other bar. I dun get it, theres no cock ups or anything, so why the living fuck must you people hold a fucking debrief for fuck's sake?

Its not like the people are all going to change overnight after listening to the debrief.

Cock ups = people are not taught well or people cannot catch the ball

FUCKING CHEEBYE.

Its unfair that my side has to wait for them all the time. We all do the same type of closing and other shit what, so why must their side take longer then ours? And moreover my side is understaffed while your side has sufficient staff for operations. But yet, my side doesnt have any fucking cock-ups that will lead to a debrief. Its like my side has only one debrief since the opening, and the other side has debriefs like every fucking cheebye night.

Okay, debrief can be conducted. But why the living fuck must it be so fucking draggy?! Its not as if they are all being debriefed for a fucking one year's worth of fucks. So i seriously dun get why the fuck are they're debriefs being prolonged till the transport leaves?

Yes, i'm in the wrong for yelling and asking all you fuckfaces to hurry the fuck up. But by you yelling back at me doesnt make it right either. I chose to walk away because i know how you will fucking react, and because of what happened on the eve. Its not my fault that you guys cock up all the time, but at least spare a fucking thought for my side because we all always have to wait for you fucking cheebyes to hurry the fuck up so that we can all go home. If i had the power and the choice, i would have asked for a separate transport so that my side doesnt have to suffer in silence because of your side's incompetence.

With that said, i can now move on.

I've been overworked and under alot of stress. Why is that so? Its because of all the fuckfaces that 86 and MIA and MC. At first i could stand the workload, then i got a new Floor Captain and i thought my workload was going to be lessened. But no, its getting to be even more of a headache. One, the fucking Floor Captain worked for two days then she MCed for three days and then NO SHOW. So FUCK YOU and FUCK OFF. She's fired and that's that.

Then came one of my closest colleagues. He's a frequent latecomer and its been getting worse. Yet now, i got the news that he quit. FUCK FUCK FUCK. It was because of some personal and work reasons that he chose to quit, and did he tell me? No, he didnt. The only two things that he could tell me was, "Sorry Fiona." I dun want the apology. In fact, i hate it if you've let me down and apologise after that. Its bad enough that i have to cover for Raymus because of his slipped disc and the fucked up Floor Captain, and i'm already not complaining about the thripled workload. But the least you could do was to tell me what happened.

I'm seriously starting to tire out and slack. I hate having to pick up people's shit whenever they cannot make it. For fuck i take junior server's pay like that? I dun know anything anymore. I dun really care and i'm not going to be nice anymore. Why bother then? I'm nice and i get fucked, i'm not nice i also get fucked. So i might as well not be nice and save my energy.

HELL WITH THE NICE ME, BECAUSE I'LL STILL GET FUCKED FOR BEING NICE.