Tuesday, June 30, 2009

When you come back.

From smoking, i dun even know whether i'll be here to talk to you anymore.

I'm sorry, i dun know if this is the better option. But i'm here to live that decision through. The thoughts are plaguing my mind. The very thought, of not being able to touch your arm, to comb your "fur" eats me from the inside.

To watch your name blinking on my phone yet, using my pillow to muffle the sounds, the images.

I didnt want you to hear the tears fall.

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Bah.

I realised that with time people tend to take others for granted. And that ungratefulness is the bane of all mankind.

I'm tired of everything and anything. I fell for my BFF and that just sucks. I'm trying to keep my distance but its ripping me apart. I dun want this anymore.

I would like to die.

Please.

I no longer want to know what will happen, or what is going to happen. I'll just let it happen and get the fuck on with life.

I hate school. I dun understand whats with the masses of assignments that we are getting. Its as if we are people with no life whatsoever, we have masses of time to do many assignments and reports.

I hate my life.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Goodbye.

Its now or never.

Its inevitable.

Monday, June 15, 2009

Hello.

Playground school bell rings again
Rain clouds come to play again
Has no one told you she's not breathing?
Hello I'm your mind giving you someone to talk to
Hello

If I smile and don't believe
Soon I know I'll wake from this dream
Don't try to fix me, I'm not broken
Hello I am the lie living for you so you can hide
Don't cry

Suddenly I know I'm not sleeping
Hello I'm still here
All that's left of yesterday

Tuesday, June 09, 2009

A Proud Parent.

Of a Yamaha Trailway200.

I got my bike since the 8th of June.

Its sweet, and i love it. Its old, like fifteen years old. But i love it. I love it to the core.

Rode with Hafiz all the way till Changi, but stopping at Jalan Kayu for some supper first. The road there was long and cold. Thank God i brought my jacket, although its a thin one.

We had fun. Fiz brought me to OCH and some other abandoned buliding, of which i couldnt see the road and my bike decided to fall down. Its probably pissed it couldnt see the road either. The whole place was pitch black, i had to high-beam all the way in, then came this huge slope, and i fell. I was carrying a pillion, he tahan the weight, but its precisely because he tahan the weight, i couldnt guage the bike's weight.

Sounds confusing, i know.

But all went well till we got to this carpark near the airport. I parked my bike, looked up and thought i went to heaven. It was the sweetest TW alive, exactly how i want my own TW to be. I cannot just type all of this bullshit, you have to see it to believe it.


I love it. The moment i saw it, i fell in love over again. It called my name over and over. The owner of the bike, came back and he saw my TW. He called out and asked whose ride it was, i told him it was mine, he said it was sweet. I said his was the sweetest.

We got to talking and found out alot of TWs. Now, i need to change my carb and do the wiring. God, i am so in love with TWs. His bike was exactly, exactly how i wanted it. My god, can you just kill me nowwww.

Mine was mediocre compared to his. My baby's brother had a better everything.

Fasli, the owner of this bike, let me try out his bike. I nearly died, nearly lost control of my emotions. His bike had to be kickstarted, so i tried, but i couldnt get the hang of it. So he started it for me and off i went.

OMFGGGGGGGGGGGGGGG.

I wanted to kneel down and beg him to change rides with me, his was the more powerpacked TW. Hardcore i would say.

So now, i need to get new carb and do the wiring for my bike. I love it very much still, but it needs alot to smarten up and meet the world.

I love you, baby.

Thursday, June 04, 2009

Displeasure or Disapproval?

I'm experiencing alot of disapproval from the men in my life.

I'm feeling quite the depressed phoenix right now. The Fiona i used to know doesn't give two fucks. I dun understand why i feel like this right now. I'm so depressed that i really dun know what to do right now.

Why am i feeling this way?

Why are all of their comments affecting what i want to do?

Not only that, this search for TWs is driving me insane. I cannot find the perfect TW at all! I'm so annoyed that its not even remotely funny anymore.

I'm being driven up the wall. Save me.