to sarrah.

i superly duperly bored just now. so i watched Mr Bean. the man's fucking funny. he put pieces of his dinner in different places because the restaurant served it to him RAW.
he put it in the sugar.
he put it in the small flower vase.
he put it under the side plate.
he put it in the musician's pants.
he put it in the next table's lady's purse.
wtf i wrong with him? and when the waiter fell down with some plates in his hand. Bean automatically blamed the waiter for the meat in the sugar etc. like where do they get this guy? he's just utterly mad. i cant stand him sometimes. geez.


suddenly i feel so empty inside. i battled for so long. and i fought with all i had. and its over. just like that. nothing seems as important any longer. for 19 months i have been fighting for YLDP. but till now, just what am i fighting for? my testimonial? my position? my fame? my leadership? i seriously need to give this some thought. i cannot believe that i've actualli never ever thought of it before. until now. but i believe that i fought for something WORTHWHILE. but i guess its just a tad bit too late for me to think about all of this. because its over.


to sarrah my successor:
i dun know if you'll read this. but if you do. this is what i want to say to you.
you are chosen because you are one of the best. to be straight, i've never thought of you as my successor. i chose syafizah. but she's made for better positions. and i wont hold her back. then i was given you, sarrah. i never thought of you as v-chairman material. but thru the little that i've taught you (for now). i know that you are fit for my position. to succeed me in my specialised area of expertise. you will have to face all the demons and problems yourself sooner or later. you alone have to continue what i've started. but i must caution you because this position holds alot of stress and pressure. literally. i cannot bear the stress for you. because my time is over. its time for me to take a break from all of the hussle and bustle of yldp. and to start your training as the new vice-chairman of houses. i'll always be there for you. this is a promise from me to you.
-the ex vice-chairman of houses, fiona-