Have you ever felt lost in any one part of your life?
When you feel as if you cannot find a reason to your feelings?
As if you lost that special part of you, that was meant to last an eternity?
Some time back, i started working in nightlife again. I got together with this bartender, Z, who at that point of time, was already married. I knew that he was married from the start, but i chose to take the risk.
We were supposed to go to Bali for a holiday, on the 6th of May. I paid for the tickets upfront. But we broke up on the 3rd. For what reason, i didnt even know at that point of time. I was on leave then, for the supposed holiday. I spent five days, awake and numb, walking around singapore, not knowing where was my actual destination. I didnt even know why i broke up with Z. All i felt was anger, because i didnt know what was going on. Apparently, he was trying to keep his wife from being suspicious.
I only know of the reason today.
He said to break up with me was pain in the first place. I felt the pain also, in a very bad way.
Yes, i said i moved on with someone else.
But i lied to make you feel my side of the pain.
But ultimately, i will never go back. Only because going back would never make a heart whole again.