The attraction.

I borrowed this Shoei helmet from Marco. Its darn gerek ( shiok in malay).

Yes, look at the thing. Its glitter gold.

Marco flew to Chicago yesterday for work and he wont be back for one-three weeks. I is sad phoenix, because theres nobody that will go drink carrot juice with me. Okay, i dun drink carrot juice, he does.

I rode with the Shoei helmet and you should have seen the amount of looks i got from other bikers on the road. This Phantom rider did one super long checking of blindspot when he saw me on the other side of the road. It was funny! Its like coupled with the fact that i'm a girl and riding a Trailway, he looked quite stunned.

But its mine till Marco comes back. Till then, i have to take very good care of the helmet because it cost a bomb. I carry it like a piece of gold.

Fiz says it looks like the first draft of ironman's mask. I beg to differ please.

Now or later?

I promise i will blog...later.

I promise.

Now, i need to sleep.

You know what?

I know for sure if this goes through, i'll be one blissfully happy phoenix.

High.

I am really happy. This feels like how i felt after my TP day, but waay better!

From where you find someone who does not mind my appearance or past? From where would you find someone that has no motive/intention in knowing you for you?

I am living the blissful life.

M: "I want to buy a vintage bike and subride to you so that you can follow me go vintage bike outing."

I nearly hyperventilated and died.

M: "I realise we always meet to either do bike or have a drink. Let's go for dinner sometime."

I feel like crying for joy when he said that.

I am really high, on cloud nine.

Happy.

Before time began, there was the cube...of cheese/tofu. -Transformers

I am living in a blissful life right now. I dun seem to have any anger, frustration or bitchfits that i want to throw.

Long time ago, i gave up on men. They seemed shallow and always doing things with motive. Having worked in nightlife for so many years, i watched men, whether they're married/engaged or with girlfriends, fool around with women. I watched their intentions, motives, reactions to women and sad to say, I've lost faith in them. My world seemed to revolve around sex, drugs and alcohol. I was sick and tired of listening to men tell me that they love/like/interested in me.

I was really sick and tired.

To the extent that even if i got a "proposal", i would turn them down. When other girls my age chased relationships and other girly intentions, i chased my career and nothing else. I seemed to be able to tell whether men were true or not, and sad to say, 99.5% of them had intentions to fuck rather than respect.

I always seemed older than my twenty one years.

It never bothered me that much.

To go clubbing would equal to standing/sitting with drinks and loud music. I lost touch with my age, thinking and having the "want" to be responsible for my own life. I started earning my own keep at eighteen and by nineteen my monthly salary was over two thousand and i had nothing to spend on. I did all of it without men and i've always deemed girls who needed to get into a relationship, weak and dependent on others.

Till i met him.

I went out yesterday, with him. I was carefree and happy. He made me laugh with his stories and riding never seemed this much fun.

His class 2 bike could beat mine flat with only three fingers on the throttle and in third gear. But no, he trailed behind me all the way, making sure i was safe and that he didnt outspeed me. Turning corners were the same, he would turn first and check his mirrors for me before speeding up to lead the way. My braking sucks because i always brake late, thus i always nearly ram into his two thousand dollar endcan. If it were others and i did that, i would get yelled at for the near miss. But he would calmly move up alittle so that there was space for me to shift and be comfortable. I pilloned him on Medusa because his seat was being done and he never once rushed me during the lane changing and stuff. He kept telling me to take my time. He knows i'm halal so he brought me to Mcdonalds for a late lunch. I didnt have to do anything, just sit and wait and even the condiments, he took them all for me. He taught me stuff about my bike i dun even have a clue to, brought me to buy stuff to put on Medusa.

Being the racer i am, i constantly challenge death. He knows that my speedometer is small, therefore i won't look at it, he gave me a spare meter of his, which looks freaking brand new, when he could have sold it for money. I said i wanted to go see his helmet collection and you better believe me when i tell you the fella has ONE head and over a HUNDRED helmets. He told me another day he wouldnt bring me home because there was no one else at home and that i was a girl. He brought me to the flea market at Pitt St to look around for vintage things and because i said i've never been there before. He shielded me when some fool of a child didnt look where he was going and nearly walked into me.

I have no idea what is this thing between us called, and frankly speaking, i really dun give a flying bother even. I just know that i'm happy and i havent felt this way in a very long time.

The bruise.

I skidded on Medusa two weeks ago. I went face first into this drain thingy and i thought i died. My entire life flashed before my eyes.

When i opened my eyes, i cussed silently.

I wondered why my heaven had so many goddamn mats in it. And when i sat up, i wanted to cry because i thought the bikes in my heaven were pathetic. There were only Krs, Sps and kupchais. There didnt seem to be any Harleys or Aprillias or Hayabusas or even Ducatis.

I sat there in shock and Medusa's tank had my ankle pinned under her. Then the mats all got together and pulled her off me and out of the drain. Her "eye" was in a different direction and it was retarded, i swear. I didnt know what to do, and i could only stare at her, then to my friend and back again.

But i checked if she was okay, once i derived if i was hurt in any way. I was damn scared my arm twist against the forces of nature and all. But no, i was okay. Even my tattoos survived the fall. Then again, i was wearing jeans, shoes and tee. So it was still okay.

Day 1.

Day 3/4

Now.

My phoenix looks like its flying over a purple fireball. And my toe was swollen. I swear i had problems walking and its even worse when i had to work the whole of this week.

But i'm okay now. I'm still alive and kicking.

The best part about this accident is...it was the anniversary of the day i got Medusa. How coincidental please.

On the other hand, i was chewing on a french fry the other day. I was thinking of the amount of thoughts i had in my brain. It seemed overwhelming and tiring at the same time.

I had to think of alot of solutions to problems and how to get things done. Its wearing me down, so i've decided that i dun want to bother anymore. I just wanna live my life, blissfull, ignorant and happy.

Pain.

The right side of my brain seems to be sending out jolts of electricity.

So i might die in my sleep.

This is the last will and testament of Fiona Ang.

My bike, Medusa, FM2016C, willed to Khatijah binte Malik (Katie). May you enjoy riding her like i did.
My finances, to be spent on one mother of all kickass parties to celebrate my death.

Erm, i dun really know what else to write.

Everything else to my mother.

Thanks.

Let's See.

Term is nearly ending.

We're left with exams to go and then its diploma term already. I guess that its been one hell of a term with Econs and Advertising to understand. I expected this term to be alittle bit more happening, but i got alot of drama in the end.

Part of which i was involved in.

Its come to no surprise.

I like to think when i ride around. To reflect on the past, present and future. Alot of thoughts have plagued my mind since school started. I guess its difficult when i need to be there for everyone and not really expecting it back from them. Its this human sacrifice of mine, as i like to call it.

Adam:
You're my bestest best friend alive and i love you oh so very much. No matter how many times i stare daggers at you when you're up to some mischief or doing your "PJ" actions. I still love you for who you are and what you do. I have been the most tiring girlfriend you can have, with my temperments and such, but you took it all. You waved my temperments away like swatting a fly, you never blamed me for saying the bitter, hurtful words i threw at you whenever i was in one of my moods. Instead, you asked and implored for me to calm down. The never ending phone calls till the wee hours of the morning, of which most of the time ends when you doze off on me. To listen to you sleep, to watch you nod off in the cab rides i persuaded you to take no matter how ego-smashing it is. To watch you club and trying to "angkat" girls minahs. It all doesnt matter to me, because i'll always be here to watch over you and your antics. Thanks for the smiles and warmth to my stone cold heart, because now you can tell the world, that you melted the Phoenix's stone cold heart. I'll always love you, and you'll always belong to me.

Alcan:
Girlfriend!! For all the laughter and himbotic things you do to brighten up my life. You never gave anything lesser than your best for me. Talking to you is like talking to my inner self, because you never fail to give me the most direct answers to questions i ask. Cookie and Nono are the very pets you worship, because i watched you display your love for them. Robbie and you never fail to make me feel at home in your house, constantly asking me to help myself to everything, to come over to stay etc. The two of you remind me of the home i do not have, the family i never see. Thank you, for being who you two are.

Bryan:
Dear dear B, i never thought that we would be so close. From the first day of school where i watched your "arrogance" to others, to this loyal friend that i've come to treasure forever. Your problems are always my problems and i will never want to change this, no matter how taxing it is for me. You've made me laugh, cry and even experience fear. But i know you're being fierce because you dun want me to fall down, or get into an accident with Medusa. Thank you, for being such a great friend.

Katie:
Minah, for all the words i said about you to others, i apologise once again. I've never been anything but honest with you. Its true that the saying goes, the pen is mightier than the sword. My words can kill, but i chose to be honest to tell you about what i said and how i felt. I guess it made our friendship stronger in a sense. The nights where i had no destination and we would hang out under your block like regular mats and minahs, smoking our lungs out. It would feel better being able to talk to someone face to face than on the phone. And you were always there for me, through and through. Thank you. for lending me a listening ear when i needed it.

Allison:
Minah No.2, we may not hang out as much because of my hectic schedule and your strict mommy, but all the times that we did made so much of a difference. The times in class where we would bitch about something or someone, laughed and then forget about it. The time where we all got a H1N1 mask from Rosa, and i put it on like a hairband, you laughed at my ears because they looked chachat. Thank you, for being someone i can whine to.

Shak:
Hello first friend! You bloody head butting shit you. For all the times you made me laugh, enough said. But please study for the coming exams okay.

Its the cold roads that i ride through in the middle of the night, feeling the chill of the forest, thinking of each and everyone of you, smiling as i ride. I look like a retard, i know. But for all of you, i'll cross friesfires and climb mountains to get to you in your time of need.

One day i may disappear, to find my purpose in life. But that is another story to tell. =)

Now i know.

That God is the one that pushes my limits to the brink of death.

I've been having alot of problems with Medusa recently, running to and fro from the mechanic's like i going in and out of hospital like that. I was very stressed out because of her. M helped alot during this week when i faced hardcore shit with Medusa.

I had to push her, like literally, to the shop and it was so not funny. I kena stare, laugh, horned at, but its okay i can take it, for Medusa. Now, she's back home with me. I just have to pray whenever i need to start her up.

But she's good now.

And i'm happy.

I just need to rewire, paint, rewrap seat, change batt pack, front disc brake and fix her tail. Now, isnt that alot to be done?

But i love her, i can go 140km with no problems after her carburetor was changed.

Then her kickstart is the mother of all fucks. Its because i cannot bloody kickstart a bike for NUTS.



My brain is so tired and dead from all the "readings" i am doing. Please, lets all take this two weeks as a cooling down period, to calm down our hormones and do some productive studying. Two problems in one night is really no joke please. I have a job, school to upkeep, Medusa to feed and friends to love.